I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
