Are we in a gay sports bar?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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