Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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