im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
