i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
