I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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