Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
