Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
