I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I will die if light touches me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Randomize
