she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
