I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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