i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
