Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
