It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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