I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
