I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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