my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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