I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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