Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
