i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
