We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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