holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
