I puked a lego.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
