Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
