Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
