I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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