Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
