In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
