I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why thereās always strippers at our house
Pro: thereās always strippers at our house
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