is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if only i could text you this smell
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
organizing the empties. That sober.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
