Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
