Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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