how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
