he thought i was a dude.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
