i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
