i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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