I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
