aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
