You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
