I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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