we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
