I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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