hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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