when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
