Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
