so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
These tits shall not be calmed
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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