the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I did not marry a roomba.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
