Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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