Swine flu. Run for my life!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
