So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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