Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
