My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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