I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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