why didn't you poke me back
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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