I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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